My mother

 


Just like any other woman who is in her 60s, she nags, concerns, shouts (because her family of origin talks in high volume), I guess this is what you call a mother, right?

But I am grateful that she chose to remain with her husband and not going to the path of divorce when her husband was playing his role as husband and father, rather disappointingly, I would say. If you can understand Chinese, I did blog about it in my Chinese blog, here. Divorce does create impact on child development and by maintaining a challenging marriage, this would help a child to understand the possibility of relationship reconciliation despite the marriage is at the brink of destruction. She worked hard (by having 2, 3 jobs when that financially inefficient father was not contributing much to the family besides clearing his debts) to sustain the family when they had to argue over financial management every night before sleep.

Thank God, all of these were over and I guess this is why I am looking for woman who can tolerate hardship and not easily thinking of "break up" when our relationship turns challenging which I believe it is going to happen when intimate relationship is developing to certain depth. A child look at his parents to learn about intimacy best after all.

Oh, this reminded me about another dream that involved her.

In the dream, I rushed back to ground floor when I saw there was a coffin and a funeral was at place. The person within the casket was my mum and I asked my sister how did she die. My sister was so sad in her cry and she was unable to answer me. I don't recall how the dream started by that was the most vivid moment in that dream. I was shock and woke up after that scene.

Yes, to be honest, sometimes I wished that our difference in worldview, the content trigger of our argument (in real life) could be easily dissolved by the demise of either one of us, but hey, that is escapism and not learning opportunity! Think about what triggered my own anger, empathy on her perspective etc...

My bad, this would serve as good reminder to be in good term with her, when I can still taste her cooking. Yes, she still cut the recipes on newspaper and paste it on her sketch/note book (so that we are not bored with repeated dishes). We are fortunate.

"Whoever curses father or mother shall be put to death." ~ Exodus 21:17

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