While waiting for mechanic to complete his service to my motorcycle, I had a inspiring conversation with his sister.
"If I don't have to worry about my living costs, I shall help anyone without any charge," I started our conversation.
"Are you sure? If someone will fully sponsor your food, accommodation and transport, will you really help freely?"
"Yuh, why not? But in life, I am still hunger of knowledge."
"Aren't you saying that you will provide your help freely? Now you sound like you will still hope for money in return of your help because you want the money to exchange for what you want," she confronted.
"......"
A simple sentence which caused me to reconsider why do I stay in helping profession since years back.
She was happy that she managed to discover my logical flaw within this simple conversation. I admit for my imperfection, but what fascinated me, is that she helped me to think about my decision, passion and motive in helping.
I believe that I can help others with the skills that I have learned, shared the painful and inspiring experience with others, be prepared to be a active listener, be a committed counselor... However, when looking at what I had done so far, recapitulated this conversation, I began to ask myself again,
"Why do I help?"
I fell to the knees and pray...
"If I don't have to worry about my living costs, I shall help anyone without any charge," I started our conversation.
"Are you sure? If someone will fully sponsor your food, accommodation and transport, will you really help freely?"
"Yuh, why not? But in life, I am still hunger of knowledge."
"Aren't you saying that you will provide your help freely? Now you sound like you will still hope for money in return of your help because you want the money to exchange for what you want," she confronted.
"......"
A simple sentence which caused me to reconsider why do I stay in helping profession since years back.
She was happy that she managed to discover my logical flaw within this simple conversation. I admit for my imperfection, but what fascinated me, is that she helped me to think about my decision, passion and motive in helping.
I believe that I can help others with the skills that I have learned, shared the painful and inspiring experience with others, be prepared to be a active listener, be a committed counselor... However, when looking at what I had done so far, recapitulated this conversation, I began to ask myself again,
"Why do I help?"
I fell to the knees and pray...
Comments
Some'd consider "freely" to be without receiving any payment or any favour in return for the services or assistance they've provided. In this sense, people would think of payment as getting something tangible with considerable value for the help they've offered. Whereas some'd view that as long as you obtain some kind of benefit, be it corporeal or abstract, then they would not regard as assistance freely given.
However I personally prefer the view of looking behind the intention of the original maker of the statement to see what the person meant when he used those words. In my opinion, its very important to look into the substance of one's statement than to base your argument solely on the form of the statement, because if one were to do that, they may well be attacking a straw man.
Since I'm no clairvoyant, I can't read into your thoughts to determine what you mean, what I can do is try to decipher what you mean by "serving freely" or to offer my point of view of what I think what you're trying to say.
I must admit that it is rare that one'd use the words "serving freely" as those words usually denotes religious calling and religious commission. Anyhow, what I feel you're trying to convey is that you are not looking for the recipient of the service to return the favour or you're not looking forward to be acknowleged for your deeds.
For me, I do not see anything wrong with you hoping to get knowledge or experience from helping somebody out, at least I do not view that as you trying to gain something from those whom you've helped, those knowledge and experience were self acquired by you taking your own initiative, and by spending your time and effort.
On the issue that you agreed with the reply that you're more than glad to offer your assistance if someone were to support you with your basic essential needs, the other party to the conversation commented that you're contradicting yourself in your providing services freely. Well, I've my own set of opinion regarding this, the primary one is that of the second comment that you're hoping for money or things quantified by money in exchange of your help, and the second one deals with first comment on receiving full sponsorship.
On the primary issue, the focal point is in the word "want" in the reply "Now you sound like you will still hope for money in return of your help because you want the money to exchange for what you WANT." I'd like to ask you if you're really seeking some personal gains, or WANTS or are you just looking for a basic supply for day-to-day basis NEEDS when you said you'd be happy to serve freely? Was it to satisfy your fancy and selfish desires or was it for your essential neccessities? In addition to that, you gave a reply saying, "Yuh, why not?", giving an honest opinion as a bystander, I'd say that it is reasonable for you to reply with that statement, firstly, you did not premeditate the longing of a reward for your services, its just a ordinary respond by which any normal person'd reply if they're being offered with such a benefaction. You didn't plan or look forward for a remuneration nor did you intend to cash in your reward for your personal gains, so where is the fault in that?
As a Christian myself, I'm sorry that I've to cite some Biblical examples here, hopefully you won't mind me doing that. Jesus, on his life on earth while as a human, while spending his life teaching and preaching the word of God, was being provided with basic needs by God, and also by the people who came to him and belived in him. He do not demand anything from them and he does not keep anything extra for himself, he'd recommend the giver to give anything extra that was meant for Jesus to be donated and to be given to the people instead.
I see that the listener may have failed to look into what you really mean and had misunderstood you by merely considering your statement solely on the literal meaning of the words used and have misdirected you to something she believed it to be what you truly mean. You've nothing to worry about if you know your intentions are good and justified.
I've some suggestions for you if you'd not like to have your statement being misunderstood by other readers in the future, its better for you to substitute the word "freely" to "willingly" or "voluntarily". People are somewhat sensitive to the word "free", as most of them would earmark it straight away with something that has nothing to do with money, value or rewards without giving a second thought to the meaning of the word. I'm sure what you're trying to say was that you'd like to serve with a cheerful heart, not having any ulterior intent behind it nor holding any grudge to your service rendered, then those words suits your intentions perfectly.
Keep what you need and give away what you do not need, it is nothing wrong to receive something that was given to you but be ready to part away with your possessions if someone else is in a more dire need of it. That is the true essence "serving freely", free as to without being bound or being tied down. It is said that it is more of a blessing to give than to receive, and I fully agree with the statement, but what I wanted to add is that both of them are blessings nonetheless, and it makes no sense to reject one for the other just because the other is widely regarded as being more benevolent over the other. Do not be so hard on yourself wanting to fit perfectly or squarely into what others considers to be truly "serving freely", I'm not saying that it couldn't be done, you may very well be able to do that if you've great inheritance or great fortune, but since it is unlikely to be possible, you have to make do with what you've and not torment yourself just to keep up with what others think of your "serving freely without getting anything at all in return", even Mother Teresa couldn't accomplish that. What truly matters in the end is your purpose and intention, that's the only thing you should adhere strictly to it.