Sunday, February 14, 2010

Countertransference

2 months ago, came nephew of landlady.

Perhaps he is new to our house, he didn’t know how to interact with we, renters, he created a lot of troubles. What had become a fact is that he consumed my shampoos and promised to return me a new one but I have not receive anything from him by the time this is written.

According to landlady, he had dysfunctional relationship with his family. Despite being the youngest son in the family, he didn’t seem to receive any good treatment from his family. He stopped his polytechnic courses and decided to work for his brother-in-law, as a closed-circuit television technician. After some disagreement with his brother-in-law, he started his own business in the same industry.

We stayed in the same house, but he has not paid landlady any cent. Whenever landlady is trying to cue about payment he will give some unreasonable excuses. That reminds me about his attitude as my irresponsible father and helpless mother who was trying hard to support the family. Therefore, I treated him the same way as I what I did with my father previously.

I received I had done, and the first day of Chinese New Year is not happy.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Dream about mother

Yesterday, I have dreamed about my family. Every members were welcoming my return from Kota Kinbalu except for my mum who was not happy.

I could hardly recalled the scenes in the dream but I do remember the vivid images of my mum shouting at me with despair.


"Why are you coming home? Have you fulfill your responsibility as a son? How much have you done to help me lighten the burden?Do you know hard I have to work in order to maintain this family? How come you be so selfish? Have you ever think of my feeling?"

......

Sigmund Freud mentioned that dream is "royal road to unconscious."

How much do you think I have repressed my emotion?

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