X = ?

Tomorrow

2012-01-10T13:32:00.001+08:00

Touched by this song from Hirahara Ayaka (平原綾香), 明日 (ashita; tomorrow, as in English).

It is the theme song, as well as the ending song of 優し時間 (yasashii jikan; Tender Time as in English).

In spite of the fact that this song is arranged in a melancholic tune, I personally found it very positive. Looking at the lyrics, you will find that the song is actually conveying the message of hope. It could also describe how a person reaches the stage of acceptance in grieving where s/he is ready to face the future by saying, "It is another new beginning."

I found hope.

What about you? ;-)

作詞: 松井五郎作曲: Andre Gagnon
Lyrics: Matsui Goro Rhytm: Andre Gagnon

ずっとそばにいると

"I'll always be by your side"

あんなに言ったのに

Even though I said

今はひとり見てる夜空

Now I'm looking alone at the night sky,

はかない約束
a fleeting promise

きっとこの街なら

Certainly somewhere in this city

どこかですれちがう

We'll pass by each other

そんなときは笑いながら

Whenthat happens

逢えたらいいのに
it would be nice to see you while smiling

もう泣かない　もう負けない

Iwon't cry, I won't be defeated

想い出を越えられる

Ican get past these feelings

明日があるから
because there's always tomorrow

そっと閉じた本に

There is a book that I softly closed

続きがあるなら
If there is acontinuation

まだなんにも書かれてない
There are pages that have not written

ページがあるだけ
on them yet

もう泣かない　もう逃げない

Iwon't cry, I won't run away

なつかしい夢だって
My dear dreams

終わりじゃないもの
this is not the endof them

あの星屑　あの輝き
The stardust, the radiance

手を伸ばしていま
Reaching out my handsnow

心にしまおう
I'll put them away inmy heart

明日は新しい
Tomorrow is a new day

わたしがはじまる

I'll begin new

Steve Jobs as how I know...

2012-01-06T00:28:00.000+08:00

It has been 3 months since Steve Jobs said good-bye to this world. No doubt, there are a lot of people are waiting for the release of new Apple products (such as iPad 3 which rumored to be released on 24 Feb 2012, Jobs' birthday), I want to remember him for what he had done in technology industry, as far as I know.

Steve Jobs was co-founder, chairman, chief executive officer of Apple Inc, and chief executive in Pixar Animation Studios.

I may not remember how exactly he had create such a legacy as in Steve Jobs, an authorized biography by Walter Isaacson, but I am fascinated how he managed to set a trend in technology industry.

Apple's personal computers as I first learned, do not run on Intel processor. I still remember how I and my friends (possibly some other technology geeks back in those days) were shocked when Jobs announced Apple's transition to Intel processor. As much as I know about Apple Inc., Jobs were a rival to Bill Gates (Macintosh vs Microsoft Windows) and Intel (PowerPC vs Intel). If I am not mistaken, Jobs decided to do so for the sake of Apple Inc's survival (profitability and development) and I believe this was not an easy decision for him. However, following the scenario below, don't you think Jobs had done something great despite he is no longer in this world?

He managed to set a trend in music industry by introducing iPod in year 2011. Then, he ventured into mobile communication market by introducing iPhone. Another successful attempt to challenge Nokia, as the world's largest manufacturer of mobile phones. Next, we witnessed how iPad became a must-have items for tablet personal computer owners. I thought Apple has lost in processor market but look at those products, what processor do they based on? Apple's A-series (now)!

Despite it may seem like Apple has lost in personal computer processor's race, but Apple processor is coming back with iPod, iPhone and iPad. Now, going back to personal computer industry, it seems that we are about to welcome "touch screen" era where input systems such as keyboard and mice, are moving into virtual system. Look at the development of Microsoft Windows 8, we shall have the idea of how operating system and our personal computer will be in future. This is can be arguable to say that Microsoft is influenced by Apple (Ops, Jobs won over Gates?). Of course, it is not only Jobs who foresaw that our computer will go into touch interface in future, but he managed to challenge the way we look at and design our personal computers.

He created a trend of linking our daily electronic consumption with touch user interface aka touch screen. He revived the Apple A5 processor and welcomed us how trendy yet practical our consumer electronics can be. He had finished his race, yet he left something more in our consumer technology.

Rest in Peace, Steve Jobs.

Starbucks

2011-11-27T17:18:00.001+08:00

I had my second Starbucks experience today where Juliana bought me a cup of Starbucks Cappucino because I managed to get her a Starbucks card.

I like the tagline showed as displayed,

"Let's Remember Why we go together so well".

She bought me this as a gift of gratitude. While I was holding this drink to attend Women's Centre for Change Penang (WCC) New Building Fund Raising at Little Penang Street Market, another volunteer was saying that I tempted her with Starbucks.

During the lunch break, I grabbed her a cup of Blended Cream Mocha and she was so happy! She shared the drink with her mum and her brother and we managed to discuss more about her future study plan in psychology. I helped her to clarify about various psychological fields and we exchange opinions about our career path in psychology.

With a cup of Starbucks,

We get to know each other better,
We started a new friendship.

Therefore, I would like to add a small tagline as below,

"It's more than just coffee: Let's just remember why we go together so well"

What say you?

;-)

p/s: This post sounds like a free advertisement for Starbucks... =P

Are you sure you will serve freely?

2011-11-15T19:33:00.001+08:00

While waiting for mechanic to complete his service to my motorcycle, I had a inspiring conversation with his sister.

"If I don't have to worry about my living costs, I shall help anyone without any charge," I started our conversation.

"Are you sure? If someone will fully sponsor your food, accommodation and transport, will you really help freely?"

"Yuh, why not? But in life, I am still hunger of knowledge."

"Aren't you saying that you will provide your help freely? Now you sound like you will still hope for money in return of your help because you want the money to exchange for what you want," she confronted.

"......"

A simple sentence which caused me to reconsider why do I stay in helping profession since years back.

She was happy that she managed to discover my logical flaw within this simple conversation. I admit for my imperfection, but what fascinated me, is that she helped me to think about my decision, passion and motive in helping.

I believe that I can help others with the skills that I have learned, shared the painful and inspiring experience with others, be prepared to be a active listener, be a committed counselor... However, when looking at what I had done so far, recapitulated this conversation, I began to ask myself again,

"Why do I help?"

I fell to the knees and pray...

Mid Autumn

2011-09-12T22:38:00.002+08:00

Celebrating mid autumn festival is meaningful, if there are friends or family around...

Last Saturday, I went to a simple gathering organized by Farlim Adventist Church and Cynn was putting a lot of effort in making this event successful.

Her prayer was answered.. Clear sky and round moon. Not to mention the happy faces among those who presented.

We had wonderful dinner, lantern puzzles (aka 燈謎), lantern lightning and of course, pastor's sharing.

One incidents happened during our effort to hang up those lanterns on raffia ropes. The lanterns were dropping one by one after a period of time because we oversaw the possibility for the ropes to be melted by candle heat. Well, something to learn. =)

Pastor was trying to share about light and he mentioned about how we, Christian reflects God's light throughout our life. I was touched...and actually I wanted to ask,

"Is it possible for me to burn myself to lighten up others?"

...

"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness." - Genesis 1:3 ~ 4

Seoul Garden dinner

2011-08-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

First time had a great dinner with colleagues.

Though it was just a simple dinner with them in Seoul Garden, Gurney Plaza, somehow I had different feeling about them.

Someone is constantly worrying about her family...

Someone is having a lot of thing in her mind...

Someone is trying hard to mix outside of office...

Someone is never given up chances to have fun...

Someone is ever ready to serve...

It is actually grateful to have moment with colleagues outside of office setting because you have to chance to observe and feel how they interact when work is not our main topics or concern. Everyone is trying to have dinner and you can tell how enjoy we were by just looking at these photos (especially Yuukie and Josephine).

Besides that, it was from this dinner, we knew our appetite, food intake volume, and diet preference. In fact, I had came to believe that those are skinny tend to eat a lot (well, don't mad at me, that's just my observation over the 24 years...).

Haha....so about the bill?

Erg, how much we need to pay?

Thanks, Nancy. We didn't go Dutch but we went home happily (with super-fully-filled-stomach).

☆　　 ☆

\ (^o^) /

Seeds

2011-08-17T02:15:00.001+08:00

We were glad to invite Footstool Players for drama presentation at Penang Adventist Hospital. This year, they bring SEEDS to us.

The production is consisted of 8 sketches which were based on biblical account of what Jesus taught in parables, Jesus' miraculous actions, Jesus' comforting et cetera. This is their 10th anniversary production but you may surprise why it is "seeds"? Well, according Colin, the artistic director of the group, they remembered those who shared with them how Footstool Players sketch left an impact in their life over these years. Despite not knowing that whether the God's word is fallen on which kind of soils, they hope that God will grow the "seeds" that they shared to their audience, to fruitfulness in everyone's life.

Sounds touching, right? Ya, in fact some of the audience (includes me) were weeping during the performance was on.

Wanna know how touching the stories go? Read on...

1st Skit: The Seed and The Soils
Biblical source: Matthew 13:3-9

This sketch is humanoid description of the Scripture. As one of the actor played as the seed while the other as the farmer or external factors, Christian may found this familiar with what Jesus told about the seeds which fell into various soils. One eaten by bird, one on the rocky ground, one was chocked by the thorns and the last fruitful one. Some people are easily taught by Words, but which soil are you? =)

2nd Skit: The Big Spender
Biblical source: Matthew 18:21-35

Another variation of Jesus' parable of unmerciful servant in term of the story background. No talents and denarii but dollar. They played a modern version of how Jesus answered Peter about forgiveness. One big spender who owed 10 thousand dollars to a loan shark, was forgiven and all his debt were paid by the loan shark after the big spender begged for forgiveness. While the big spender on his way back home, he met his friend who owed him 5 bucks. Unlike what he has treated when he was with the loan shark, he put his friend in the jail until his friend can pay up the debt. If you have read Matthew chapter 18, you know what happened next, right? Forgiveness, it is always easier to say than done. Remember, we are forgiven by our Father and we will suffer if we choose not to forgive.

3rd Skit: The Tah-Pau Lunch
Biblical source: John 6:1-13

5 loaves and 2 fishes can feed 5000? Well, it is a miracle done by Jesus. A gift to share, even though you think that can be small, but sharing can create impact to others. In this skit, a young refused to bring the lunch box prepared by his mother because he wanna tried take-away lunch on his way to school. He complained that the food was not enough for him but his mum told him about how Jesus fed five thousands people with 5 loaves of barley bread and two fishes. After his mum told him about this miracle, the boy was convinced to bring his lunch box to school and eventually he shared his lunch box with a student who hardly have money to have lunch at school. They became good friends! Guess what, we are actually blessed with what is enough for us and maybe more that we can imagine!

4th Skit: The Cracked Pot
Biblical source: 2 Corinthians 4:7-12, 16-18; 1 Corinthians 1:26-29; Romans 8:28; Genesis 50:20

Clay pot is meant to carry water but what is the purpose of cracked pot for it fails its function? This skit may prove you wrong if you think the pot is a failure. Once upon a time, there is one Indian owned 2 clay pots. One was big, strong, firmly build while the other one was small, poorly shaped, cracked. Everyday, the Indian never failed to carry these 2 pots with him whenever he were talking water from a well. Well, one day, the cracked pot began to groan at its owner, saying that it is such a failure compare to its counterpart because everytime the Indian filled it full, only less than half of the water was left, and so it refused to work with its owner. The Indian did not feel upset, instead he brought it along the path they used to walk daily when they are going to take water from the well. The potter demanded the pot to notice around the path as they walk along. The cracked pot was so surprise that there were beautiful flower grew along the path without noticing that the water leaking from its cracked body was watering the flowers all the while! This is the one of the parts where I broke into tears. I recalled my past experience on how terrible I was when sexual abuse, suicidal attempts and irresponsibility flashed back. I was like a cracked pot but God has never fails to use me for His purpose. I am not sure, what I done for the benefit of others, but I was again reminded to fix my eyes on what is unseen for what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal...

5th Skit: The Peasant Princess
Biblical source: (Unknown, probably whole bible on how God is always with us)

Prince of Vendread was looking for life partner ever since he reached the age of marriage. One after another princesses from various country came for him but none of them impressed the prince. One day, he decided to dressed like a peasant that no one actually recognized that he was the prince. He met one peasant girl who sold grilled burger. He was attracted by her and so did her at the first sight. Eventually, they fell in love and gone through what a normal couple will do. Having dinner together, chatting over their story under the starry night... At last, when he proposed to her, he disclosed his identity and the girl was shocked! Without any objection from the royal family, the girl was welcomed into royal world. Happily ever after? Not so much after the marriage because the girl was still used to her previous lifestyle as a princess despite she was a "Your Highness" to everyone now. Without acknowledgement of the prince, she secretly picked up her kitchen utensils, started grilling burger and selling them near the castle. The prince knew nothing about this because he was busy with his work everyday. However, when this old habit of "the prince" was reported as local newspaper headline, "the princess" was so afraid that she kept hiding this fact from her husband. When the prince asked her about this, she thought that the prince must be very angry about her for being not doing what a princess should do. Surprisingly, her royal husband answered, "Honey, I am always in love with you no matter what you do...". "You see, the moment I fell in love with you, I did not mention my identity as a prince but I am truly in love with you because of who you are, Honey!" The princess was touched and she promised to slowly learn to be a proper princess who takes up new responsibility and joyfulness. Jesus is like the prince. He loves you not because of what you have done but simply because who you are!

6th Skit: The Dependable Son
Biblical source: Luke 15:11-32

This skit was about the parable of the lost son as in Luke chapter 15. Another play based exactly like biblical text except the background had switched to 21st century where the sons were no longer in farm but school. A father had two sons. One has left his homeland and one remained with their family. The one who stayed with his father fulfill every responsibility and expectation of his family, but he is never happy of what he had achieved. One day, his younger came home and their father was very happy and celebrated his brother's return. He was mad at his father for not showing appreciation on what he has done. Comparing with his younger brother, he felt like he was not appreciated but his father told him this, "you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. (Luke 15:31-32)". How many times we had fallen into our own world that we are not aware of our blessing and be joyful for who has returned to our big family?

7th Skit: Lay Down Your Burden
Biblical source: John 4:1-42

Jesus and the Samaritan woman. Drink not the water that can quench your thirst but drink living water which will never let you thirst again. If you have read John chapter 4, you will know well about this story. The woman decided to left her heavy burden (the jar) right after she told others about the Messiah and she never took up the heavy burden again. Have you decided to left everything to Him?

8th Skit: God's Chisel
Biblical source: (Unknown, mostly about our faith with God)

Ming, woke up early in the morning and looked at the mirror. After he was done with his brushing, he did daily prayer and surprisingly God (Colin's role character) appeared with hammer and chisel. Ming prayed for God to chisel him into a better person in the way he wanted. A little bit here and there physically so that he could look nicely in front of others. Instead of responding with his demand, God started to chisel Ming by pinning out his weaknesses and sin. As God was pinning deeper into Ming, Ming started to recline from God and asking God why all these were found in him as he was trying hard to keep these from others. He even doubted God care about him despite he had done so many things wrong but then again, God said this, "Ming, you're always my original master piece and no matter what you have done, you're always my original piece of art where I will make good use of you. I am the Creator of universe and do you think I do not know what is happening on you? All you have to do is to ask yourself, do you want Me to chisel you or you choose to follow your sinful desires," At the end of the skit, God asked Ming again, "Do you dare to proclaim to others that you're my original creation, without the fear of rejection or any response that you will or will not anticipate?". Ming, stood there at the edge of the stage with God around him, declared this...as the bar cans which focused on him, slowly dimmed off...

I cried, as I was hearing some weeping sounds at the audience seats...

From time to time, I admit that I was trying to rely on my own to push myself into what I want. But, who do you think God is? He knows me well that He actually ready a path for me ahead and all He wants was just a total submission to Him...

How far I have done? Only He knows.

Thank you, Father for sending Footstool Players to spread about Your words within Malaysia. Father, I pray that You continue to guide and bless them so that they can continue to bring Gospel to those who haven't known about You. Glorifying all these in Your Son Jesus' precious name, Amen.

"The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man." ~ Matthew 13:37

Tutu....'Bahnhof'...

2011-08-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

We visited a shelter home in Bukit Mertajam, Penang Bahnhof Youth Center.

Though there were some delay in planning, we were glad that they were welcoming us as much as we welcomed them.

We did not plan many activities for the children because all we wanted, was to have interactive moment with them. Of course, the discussion about how to deliver our help towards the less fortunate population with Alex and Thoo (center's owner) was inspiring, too.

For those who are in the helping profession or social welfare, I guess we all understand that running a shelter home or half-way house which serves as part of psychosocial support, is not easy. From getting a license for the center to the negotiation with neighbour for tolerance with children's voice level. However, these did not stop Alex to help these kids.

"If I do not help them, who is going to help them?". This remind me of Jesus' parable about the lost sheep. "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost." (NIV, Matthew 18:12-14).

Though they had or are having some untold experience which you and I may not feel or know, I can feel how creative, happy, serious about their attitude towards their life.

I believed God is blessing Penang Bahnhof Center for those who were grown up in this center is turning into Him and become some great people that touch others' life. One of the former resident turned up to be a sales manager in a local rice merchandise while the other is undergoing formal counseling training to be a licensed counselor.

Isn't that great? Praise the Lord. =)

Want to know what we did with them?

Well, we had a simple brunch with those kids where they were jumping around the compound while foods were ready and electronics seemed to be their focus...

(Psst, none of our cell phones "survived" after the visit, including Alex's Samsung Galaxy Tab because all of the power were drained by games installed in our gadgets...>~< )

Photo frame making session...

30 minutes football game and blanket game....

And I guess you know how happy we were in the end of the day...

It is really fun to mix around with them and I will continue to pray for everyone in the center.

P/S: Thank you everyone for making this visit successful ^^

"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." ~ Matthew 9:36

Cast my burden on Thy, for You know where I shall go...

2011-08-03T23:53:00.002+08:00

While waiting for my sister, I managed to think about my current job and career development...

I recalled the moment I was struck by hopelessness and depression when my manager delivered the first warning letter to me few weeks back...

How slack I was....
How useless I was...
How stubborn I was...
How egocentric I was...

Then..

I rethink again what did that incident mean for me,
reviewed one of the case that I handled recently,
referred the policy of my job title,
and I saw this,

”A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

I think that there is a purpose why God put me in this job at this hospital and begin to realize that I can perform better by applying what I have learned in the university.

All the while,

I was thinking that my degree has little and nothing to do with my current job, for I am a social worker but I am graduated in counseling. All I have to do in this job, is only to disburse the charity fund to the patient. With this mindset persists, I am unable to integrate my knowledge into my practice. However, when I was reviewing one of the cases on my hand, I began to have some ideas on how to process it from different perspective which I haven't applied since I started this job.

If the cardiologist remarked anxiety/depression on the diagnosis page, why didn't I assessed her for the past interview session?
Why didn't I applied my Mental Status Examination (MSE) skills on her when home visit was conducted?
How can I integrate MSE into our first interview or our interviewing approach with charity patients?
Why can't I arrange for consultation with Dr Lynn about case management or referral when the manager is unable to discuss for case management in the perspective of patient's psychological functioning?
Why am I saying that I cannot apply my skills when there is actually a chance to reform the process of case management in medical social service?

With these question roaming around my mind, I think again,

Counseling is part of case management or the process of psychosocial support for patients, but I am given the chance to learn how to manage a case from the beginning (in fact prior to first contact with charity patients) until the end of holistic psychosocial support (usually follow up to ensure patient's overall functioning) in clinical setting.

Isn't I fortunate to have this learning opportunity when I keep mentioning that my career path is into clinical psychology?
Isn't this one of the way that our Heavenly Father form and build me?

I don't know who I can be in future, but I am willing to come back to Him again...

For He knows what is the best for me and lightens my path...

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5

Paintball

2011-07-31T23:34:00.002+08:00

Had paintball session with church mates on 31st July, 2011. Phew, I thought it was a easy game but it was quite demanding in terms of stamina because you need to squat, run, shoot, hide, and crawl...

Anyway, this remind me of our moment with Half Life: Counter Strike. Well, real life sports is far better and excited than computer game. You get to feel the tension in shooting and hiding where you cannot feel in virtual reality.

Salute!

Get set, solders!

With the effort of Juliana (thanks Juliana for organizing this game! =D), we managed to have a discount session of RM20 per person with unlimited life and 100 bullets. We started the game in 2 teams, aka white vs yellow.

Being hit by air gun is not that pain compare to gunpowder bullet and the impact can cause damage level as this...

...and only one of us were not hit directly... No casualty occurred but wounded legs, arms, heads, face....

Despite my team has won, but I found that the excitement of winning can only be achieved if limited life is set for each player. If everyone is getting unlimited life but limited bullets, for sure the team who plays safe and stingy on bullets will win the game most probably.

Anyhow, it is a very excited game and we had nice time together. Probably I will go for next round in near future.. =D

Walk for Sight and Sound 2011

2011-07-30T00:36:00.003+08:00

Went to a fantastic charity walk during 17th July and met some wonderful friends who are working under the same hood.

Ops, not ready yet?

Smile! (^ω^)

I am not sure what the Star reported about the figures is accurate or not, but I am glad that we can help and have meaningful experience to be "blind". Seriously, you know how many persons attended this annual event?

Not to mention, there were a lot of attractive prizes for the participants. iPad, bicycles, laptops...In fact, in the point of organization participation, Penang Adventist Hospital fellows must be really blessed. Out of 33 participation, 4 received lucky draw prizes where we had Wei Beng, Andy, and Doreen who won the hamper.

Beng poising with his hamper

and Ryan Goh, our grand prize winner! \(⌒o⌒)/

4 days 3 nights Penang-Phuket/Krabi Start cruise tour for 2 persons. (Psss, I heard he hasn't found his partner...You know what to do, right? =P)

Anyhow, the event went like this. We walked blindfolded with someone leading in front...

or guided with someone who was not blindfold side-by-side...

Don't ask me what the lady was posing...

From youth park...

passing by the botanical garden...

and back to youth park where we were awarded with a certificate for our effort! Great job, pals. =)

Lastly, I would like to thank Jason and Grace for their unfailing effort to advertise Penang Adventist Hospital...

Jason, we miss you...

Grace never failed to show PAH signboard in almost any photos...

P/S: Guan, you did a great job! Without you, we won't have wonderful photos like these. Thanks!

Jesus said, "For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind." ~ John 9:39

Forgiveness

2011-07-26T23:13:00.000+08:00

I attended a bible conference by RBC Ministries on 23rd July 2011, saturday in Trinity Methodist Church Penang with elder Ooi and fellow church mates. Met Kwei Yunn and Xu Wen (just knew that she attends this church =D). Besides, provides a reunion of brother and sister in Christ, our Heavenly Father taught me about forgiveness through the mouth of Reverent Dr. Gary Inrig.

Though I may not have photographic memory, these are some of the points which I recalled from his sermon:
(corresponding biblical chapters: * Luke 7:36 - 50, * Matthew 18:21 - 35, * Luke 17:1 - 10, & * Matthew 18-15 - 20)

~ The central principle of forgiveness is where creditor pays off debtor's debt (Jesus died on the cross for our sin)
~ Forgiveness creates love and comes with obligations such as forgiving others
~ Eternal forgiveness of God is not equal to parental/conditional forgiveness of God
~ Forgiveness is not minimizing sin
~ Forgive is not forget but remember to forget
~ To forgive, one has to define the offence and confront the person who offended us so that s/he knows how to repent.
~ Remorse = regret but not repent
~ Repent leads to change of life or direction of living
~ Forgiveness is not equal to the cancellation of sin consequences
~ Forgiveness is effective only to the relevant parties
~ Forgiveness needs faith because it is an act of will or permanent attitude
~ Forgiving is learning to forgive
~ Forgiveness is another offer for others/offender to believe (in Christ), repent and renew
~ In case we cannot forgive offender, we shall offer forgiveness to offender by surrendering this to God.
~ Process of forgive:
1) Face the offence squarely
2) Feel the hurt (as consequences of sin)
3) Forgive (with faith)
4) Renew

Port Dickson Beach

2010-06-16T17:26:00.001+08:00

From, the day I left to Singapore, I know the life of going around the globe is going to be part of my life despite my passport is only consisted of Singapore stamps.

16 May, I went to Port Dickson beach along with Philips who had routine swim around the beach with his cousin. The beach is not as nice as always broadcasting in advertisement, perhaps I haven’t gone the best spot, according to Philips. The worst thing about the beach that I went was, a lot of after-barbeque-charcoal floating on top of the coast line water. Since when the people will have the awareness of saving the earth or at least, clean your stuff after the party…

Singapore > Kota Kinabalu > Seremban > ?

What is next?

I only know what I have after I lost it…

2010-06-16T17:24:00.001+08:00

That’s one of the lines Shrek mentioned when he lost his beloved wife, Fiona in Shrek Forever After…

Personally, I haven’t watched Shrek 3 but I went along to watch the ending chapter of the series with Philips. I heard someone saying that Shrek 3 brought up daily family issues in the movie such as parenting roles. If the movie serves as the continuum of previous movies, then I am not surprise that family crisis or divorce serves as the consequences of a family, especially when the film is made by America where divorce rate is peaking high.

Fortunately, the theme did not end up negatively but it was posed as turning point of a family when crisis surfaces. At the beginning of the movie, Shrek had made himself clear that he is bored with paternal responsibility in the family while not knowing that family was he had fought for as a source of happiness. He was bored to be a father and husband and he wants to be himself again.

His intention was identified by a tricky elf. The elf offered to realize Shrek’s wish but the real intention of the elf was to manipulate Shrek to gain source of pride over the ruling of Far Far Away. Nevertheless, Shrek lost everything he had, friends, family and freedom.

It is from this particular period of upset, Shrek rediscover the meaning of friendship and love by various challenges including facing his wife, Fiona who turned out to be a person with total opposite characteristics in the imaginary world created by the elf.

As for the ending, I guess we are familiar enough with typical Dreamwork animation ending. What I have seen from the movie, perhaps is the main theme of the movie, appreciation. Appreciate those around you and don’t take them for granted. How long since the last time you have the rush of passion with your wife/partner? =)

23

2010-06-16T17:23:00.001+08:00

“Happy Birthday” from various persons in my life poured in. How I wished to replied them, but I don’t have access to Facebook.

How did I pass the day? No big blast, party, movie, and gathering but another day of practicum and strolling around Seremban 2 (shopping mall in Seremban, apparently…). Bought myself a book about Noetic Science and asked for another title to Grace. Thanks, Grace!

Disappointed, because I was hoping to receive text from her but it ended up nothing… No SMS, Facebook message, wall…

Happy Birthday, perhaps it is the time I shall have grown up and learned to give up.

Role reversal?

2010-04-06T11:53:00.003+08:00

It says "Girl Now Outperform Boys in Every Country Across The Developed World"...

Got this while I was browsing a techno magazine.

It's true, the number of female in universities across the globe outnumber male,

Female has broken the glass ceiling that prevent them from moving to higher hierarchy in many organizations,

Possible of global role reversal in near future?

I need help from my friend's valuable opinion from sociological and anthropological point of view.

Countertransference

2010-02-14T22:03:00.001+08:00

2 months ago, came nephew of landlady.

Perhaps he is new to our house, he didn’t know how to interact with we, renters, he created a lot of troubles. What had become a fact is that he consumed my shampoos and promised to return me a new one but I have not receive anything from him by the time this is written.

According to landlady, he had dysfunctional relationship with his family. Despite being the youngest son in the family, he didn’t seem to receive any good treatment from his family. He stopped his polytechnic courses and decided to work for his brother-in-law, as a closed-circuit television technician. After some disagreement with his brother-in-law, he started his own business in the same industry.

We stayed in the same house, but he has not paid landlady any cent. Whenever landlady is trying to cue about payment he will give some unreasonable excuses. That reminds me about his attitude as my irresponsible father and helpless mother who was trying hard to support the family. Therefore, I treated him the same way as I what I did with my father previously.

I received I had done, and the first day of Chinese New Year is not happy.

Dream about mother

2010-02-11T21:14:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I have dreamed about my family. Every members were welcoming my return from Kota Kinbalu except for my mum who was not happy.

I could hardly recalled the scenes in the dream but I do remember the vivid images of my mum shouting at me with despair.

"Why are you coming home? Have you fulfill your responsibility as a son? How much have you done to help me lighten the burden?Do you know hard I have to work in order to maintain this family? How come you be so selfish? Have you ever think of my feeling?"

......

Sigmund Freud mentioned that dream is "royal road to unconscious."

How much do you think I have repressed my emotion?

Not enough light?

2010-01-08T20:47:00.001+08:00

The state needs a brighter future?

Coincidence or Fate?

2009-10-21T22:27:00.004+08:00

Was it a mere coincidence or an arrangement? I lost my keys yesterday and I manage to get them back today... with a simple prayer...

Yesterday, I lost room keys on the way back from school. Upon discovery of that, I was discussing that with my landlady and the first good news was heard. My house mate reported that she had actually fount the keys, but she left the keys laying on the exact same spots, assuming that the owner would trace them back.

Without second thought, I rushed back to the spot where my house mate mentioned, and to my horror, someone seemed to have grap the keys given that the spot was somewhere near the lecturers' parking lots.

Therefore I ended up with disappointment last night... I hate myself for my own carelessness and the inability to improve it!

Sleep does help to readjust my emotion. Before I headed to school for Japanese class, I was hoping that this could serve another important lesson for me and assuming that someone had taken the keys to the office. Consequently, I tried to calmed myself with a simple prayer...not very much like the Christian way, but some part of it...

I approached the counter.

"Abang, ada sesiapa yang hantar kunci hilang milik ke sini keh?"

"Hmm, nanti saya cari yeh. Mana yeh...U ada nampak keh?", the receptionist asked his colleague.

"Yeh, ada. Sana tu!"

"Inikah?"

"Oh, Ya! Terima kasih, bang!"

Was this ending just a connection of high probability responses or a determined plot by superior being (in Christian context, God answer my prayer)?

Monthly habit...

2009-10-18T10:16:00.003+08:00

3 for RM24! Who can resist?

Anyway, does not mean that I am like those shopaholics, but I would like to commit myself in serious reading... Spending in books contribute 4% to 9% of my monthly expenditure and I personally think that it is OK, despite my mum is always questioning my purchase...

"Are those books your textbooks?"

"Erg, nope. But some of them will help me in my study..."

"Then why buy so many?"

"What is wrong with adding more knowledge?"

"..."

Well, I have to face this in the coming December as I bring more books home.

=P

New recipe!

2009-10-08T16:28:00.001+08:00

Introducing... *ceng ceng ceng*...

Steam potato rice! C=:-)

Thanks to Auntie Guan for sparking the idea for me and my mum who taught me this original recipe. Actually, I was not preparing this, rather it was the typical fried potatoes which I learned from my mum. Out of sudden, I heard Auntie Guan (my landlady at Sabah) reminded my of her unfinished rice.

Aha, why don't I mix it with my potatoes? Consequently, I pour the hard, cold rice into my dish and steam them (while I was frying potatoes).

10 minutes later, new recipe (well, at least for me) was created! I shared the dish with auntie and her son, and we were satisfied! Her son was amazed by it and tried to replicate the dish tomorrow!

I wonder how will it tastes like.... :P

New Book!

2009-09-17T20:34:00.003+08:00

Another one added to collection...

The Evolution of God by Robert Wright

Recyclable

2009-09-15T23:57:00.001+08:00

Ok, someone considered this as recyclable......

Sabahan is rich? What say you?

Wait

2009-08-28T23:20:00.003+08:00

2 days ago I had a call with her after a long period of longing...

Besides the typical greeting and information about recent life, we discuss about our further study.

She persist on the study in Master of Business Administration while mine are clinical psychology counterpart.

While we were encouraging each other, she doubt about availability of equivalent or better quality romantic partner in future after her Master courses.

.......

I'll wait for you
I sincerely do

......

Doulos

2009-08-19T14:52:00.002+08:00

Hurray! Doulos is coming back to Kota Kinabalu again! The ship will dock at Jesselton Port starting from 29th og August to 20th of September. Those who're interest in visiting this ship, do mark this date down! Let's bring knowledge, help and hope!

Can't wait the arrival!

o (> <) o

Semester Break…Workload…

2009-08-14T20:30:00.001+08:00

The mid semester break is approaching…

I have only a weak to finish all my papers. Can I make it?

Clinical psychologist is expected to sustain heavy workload, according to a source…

So I guess I don’t have much choice?

Sugar?

2009-08-12T19:49:00.004+08:00

I don't know what happened to commodity market in Sabah, but can't someone tells me why sugar supply was stopped, in Sabah?

About 2 hours ago, I heard my friend mentioning that each person was limited to purchase 2kg of normal cane sugar ONLY!

>~<

Anyway, I should cut down my sugar intake (cane sugar) throughout this period. Not to mention my 2kg weight gain...!

distress

2009-08-08T00:24:00.002+08:00

Today is the first day I reported in my part time in 1 Borneo. I am glad that I finally manage to land myself a sustainable job as financial problem is one of my problem here.

Thing has both sides. With the allocation of my Friday and Saturday for this job, I have lesser time in revising and writing. As I am approaching the end of my tertiary study in, I begin to feel the pressure. I have more academic writing but shorter writing period. Now I really know how the feeling of a writer who is undergone deadline pressure by the editor.

This triggers my thought about my overall vocational preparation to be a clinical psychologist. Am I going to make it?

My academic writing skills do not seem to show any improvement and so does my critical thinking!

In order to be a clinical psychologist, intelligence is not all. Emotional intelligence, social aptitude, intentional interview skills, project management and communication skills! Have I done anything to improve them? Today I have disappointed my lecturer again! T.T

I disappointed my assignment groups’ members again and reaped the chance for them to contribute. I don’t mean to get a worst mark for my groups but what can I do? I even hate myself for thinking this!

What a minute, this is just simple student life and I can’t even handle those? How could you make it so far after you have overcome so many troubles? Arg….!

I hate myself for my stupid progress and my irrational thoughts!

…

I think I need help…

Father

2009-07-20T22:18:00.001+08:00

“Happy Father’s Day”

That reminds me about the role of father in a family. If I will have to conceptualize this according to my personal experience, I will not take this role for myself in the future.

I don’t think I am capable.

Whenever I mention about my oyaji (親父, father as in japanese), I feel ambivalent. Since I first knew him, until now…

He was once our family breadwinner that provided us with certain degree of material before. He bought a nice house, comfortable Toyota, and new home furnishing.

I am thankful for his effort to bring the best for us. I recall how excited I was when he had promised to buy me a personal computer for my UPSR achievement. However, since the moment I saw him negotiating with the bankers and the scene where our first family sedan was dragged away by the bank due to the unpaid overdraft, I knew something was wrong…

The financial situation went worse since then…

Parents were arguing over financial issues almost every night that those noises are still fresh in my mind.

He was sacked for channelling insurance client’s premium into his own private usages. I was thankful that his employer did not file a lawsuit against him.

Since then, he had never sustained any job for more than one year due to his faulty behaviour. Taxi driver, Gillette products retailer, egg monger, salesman, political party employee, hawker…

In order to cover the daily expenditure, he finally decided to approach illegal money loaner for financial solution. By the time this happened, my mum had to take over the role of family breadwinner because all that he earned had gone to along payments. I guess there is when my mum never shows any intimacy against him…

There was certain moment where he stole my mum, my sister, my grandma and my saving to pay the loan sharks. That’s when I started to think that he is no longer the one I can trust…

I can still remember the night where our home was tainted with 2 big packets of red paint as one of the threatening method use by most alongs…

I can feel how about horror it was when my sister was receiving the call which threatened her safety due to oyaji’s incapability to pay them on time…

I know how hard it is for a woman to work almost 16 hours per day to support the family…

I know why I was trying to hang myself when I was 11 and my incapability to help the family as the eldest son…

…

2 months ago, he left our family without our consent.

Initially, my mum and grandma was quite curious about his disappearance. Nevertheless, when they thought about what he had caused to his own family, we decided to continue our life without him.

…

Few weeks ago, he made a call to home, telling us that he has landed himself a job in Petaling Jaya. Besides that, he seems to try to care about us by frequent call to home, and to me.

I know that I should give him a chance to change, but frankly speaking, I am yet to accept someone who has instilled negative image about the role of “father” and all those scars in my development…

Should I?

P/S: This is his last job that I know before he left Penang.

Careless lost

2009-05-13T23:56:00.001+08:00

I lost my wallet after I dined in Gurney Plaza food court.

As the consequences, you name it. Identity card, driving license, student card, bookshop membership cards, organ donor card, ATM cards, precious private picture and 150+ bucks.

Painful and pricy lesson, wasn’t it? I wonder why I keep wasting money on important lesson in my life.

Behind every unlucky event, there is something new to be learned. For example, I knew how to apply for replacement copy of important documents, cancel the ATM cards, how to handle the lost emotionally. Frankly speaking, I was wondering about how long will I take to mourn about this issue…

Anyway, there is some good news, too. Student receives 50% debate on replacement identity card compound, do you know that? I hope I will get the same treatment tomorrow when I proceed to Road Traffic Department for replaced driving license! =P

Jamming Penang

2009-05-09T23:11:00.001+08:00

A lesson to be learned. Don’t go out whenever there is parade going on unless you’re one of the participants or audience.
I was planning to drive to Gurney Plaza to buy Power Station new album, Moving On.

Well, I was moving on to buy this album despite the heavy traffic jam at Scotland Road. That was the only way to Pulau Tikus area, as Macalister Road and Burma Road were blocked for the Vesak Day parade.
Am I sounds emotive?

Deja vu…Excited yet unlucky

2009-05-06T08:57:00.001+08:00

Ever heard of deja vu, or the pre-conception of certain event before its actual occurrence? Sixth sense, extra sensory perception (ESP) et cetera refer to the same subject.

Whenever I have a clear picture of certain event in my mind during my sleep, it is most likely to happen in reality. I dreamt about motorcycle which is running out of petrol when I reach university, during my afternoon nap before my Japanese final exam.

As expected, it occurred after I woke up from my nap and this is how the whole excited but unfortunate series of small incidents happened to me:

1340

Woke up from nap since I have bike, I still managed to reach university on time, I thought…

1350

The bike did not responded when I pull the throttle. To my horror, the dream came true. I stopped at the front gate of university with the security guard’s yell, “Ah Chai, motor tak ada minyakkah?” After resting the bike near the security hut, I rushed to exam hall.

1405

Reached DKP 2 safely but the listening section of the exam had gone to Question 4. I grabbed the paper and started to follow the sequence of the listening test.

1420

Handed up the listening test answer sheet along with attendance sheet which would be collected next. I hope the invigilators did not miss out my attendance sheet…

The moral of the story? DON’T TAKE YOUR NAP BEFORE EXAM AND EXAMINE TRANSPORT BEFORE YOU START YOUR JOURNEY!

What do you think?

(>~<)

Money matters

2009-05-03T23:08:00.001+08:00

Seeing some of the friends are graduating soon, I feel grateful for them. However, when I imagine this as what will happen during the next year, I feel anxious and tense.

I guess if you’re studying somewhere far from your hometown, the arrangement of brief travel around the location which you’re studying, is somehow a must for your family when they visit you during your convocation. Do you agree? Well, at least, for me, it is a “yes” since my parents keep mentioning that during those phone calls.

Therefore, I had followed my friend to arrange this for his family who will visit Sabah in the near future (October, 2009). We were surveying the price for the accommodation since it is quite a challenge to get a room which is reasonable in term of payment and safety. Excluding those luxurious hotels in Kota Kinabalu, we have the price ranges from 65 bucks to RM280 per night for a family size room. Well, you can imagine what we have for the cheapest (best setting for horror movie) and the most expensive (3 stars).

After that we speculated for the rough budget for the travel around Kota Kinabalu which included visit to Kundasan, Kudat, seafood meals, transportation etc. Including my friend himself, the budget was for 5 persons. The figure was expected to reach around 2K and I was stunned for few seconds…

I tried not to imagine about that as this was not my main concern, yet. Gestalt therapy says thinking about the future will only make you more anxious and stressful. Unfortunately, when I attempted to figure this out from another perspective, I knew that if I would not disappoint my family during that time, I have to think about how to accumulate the money from now own.

Seems contradict, right? I am more sensitive to money, anyway, especially when it involves third party…

Care

2009-05-02T08:34:00.001+08:00

Throughout all the troubles that my friends or people around me, I found that I lack for a critical element as someone who wish to help, emphatic care. Take for example, whenever there is someone who is feeling terrible physical pain, I will anxious for my ignorance to solve the problem.

This is an obstacle to be a psychotherapist. From the moment I learned this from the book, I know that is the hardest part for me. As someone may say, skills can be easily acquired but it is not the case for change of personality.

Is it due to the reason that I was growing from a family without love and care? Or I am the one who is so ignorant to my parents’ love and care? Love and care can take many form, but I hardly feel the way my parents’ style.

Shall I to be blamed? But that does not help me to develop how to care and love! I heard of someone saying this before, “The easiest way to know about love and care, is to put yourself into others’ shoes when they are showing their love or care to you.”

What do you think?

Opportunity

2009-04-29T23:20:00.001+08:00

Strike while the iron is hot. Whenever there is chance, never miss it.

Today, I went to university for my Data Analysis examination. Before I touched the exam paper, Dr Chua knocked my table and request an appointment with her.

The first thing that flashed through my mind was the empty post in my school as I recalled her mentioning about vacancy in data entries personnel. Therefore I finished the paper with contented heart. After the after exam of counselling and psychotherapy theories, I knocked the door of her room.

The conversation began with her inquiry about my presence in the South East Asia Psychology Conference that is organized by my school. Quickly after that, she came up with one question that astounded me, “Will like to present your paper during that conference?”

“As a student presentation?” I responded.

“Nope, a formal paper presentation, just like any other presenters. I found your paper is suitable for the conference and you can even consider journal submission.”

I did not reject, as I have waited for opportunity to publish my academic article all the while and the only concern that I have is the recognition from any academic professional. I believed there is reason that formed the consideration of Dr. Chua.

It seems that I have being making progress in my career. Right until now, my mind is still fascinated with my further study opportunity in psychology, article publication… I know that I overact by the request as before that I have to prepare for the presentation and paper review. Consequently, I decide to fill my holidays with paper writing, reading and presentation preparation.

I am fear to present my idea in front of audience which includes experts in this field.

I am afraid my paper will be rejected by the organizing committee.

But, I will like to thank Dr. Chua Bee Seok, Grace Ooi, Grace Chin and Doreen Cheah for making this to happen.

University Level English?

2009-04-29T23:19:00.001+08:00

Ok, I am not here to brag about my English competency but can you imagine the future human resource originated from public university which is not good in English? Look at the following notice:

One of the Universiti Malaysia Sabah graduation requirements is the English competency level of at least Band 3 of Malaysia University English Test (MUET). Personally speaking, Band 3 is not the hard for a university graduate. Will you hire someone who can’t even achieves the English competency of high school levels? Comparing with other English proficiency tests, such as SAT, IELTS and TOEFL, MUET is considered as the low passing test. The scores are adjusted to quite significant low par compare to the international English proficiency tests.

Well, that may sound like I am discriminating certain population, but my the point I try to emphasize is the perseverance to improve language proficiency level. It is an undeniable fact English is widely used in almost every corner of the world, why certain population is declining to improve English proficiency?

Shopping Spree!

2009-03-16T05:17:00.001+08:00

Ok, now I fully understand how female feel when it comes to shopping…

I bought another 5 books during 1 Borneo Popular Book Fair…

(>~<)

I admit that I cannot resist the temptation whenever there is 90% sales. (usually book fair) Well, I managed to find several favourite genres of mine and not patronized just for the sake of my own impulses…I assume…

The original price of the books was RM169.40 and after 70% discount…Tata, you can get it, RM50.82! I saved up RM118.58! (even though I actually spent 50 bucks…)

Anyway, let’s welcome another five compilation for joining my book collection.

\(^o^)/

Commentaries on Living: Series II – Infinity by Jiddu Krishnamurti
Commentaries on Living: Series III Part I – Inference starts from Conclusion? by Jiddu Krishnamurti
Commentaries on Living: Series III Part II – The Quality of Pure by Jiddu Krishnamurti
The First and The Last Freedom by Jiddu Krishnamurti
Thought. Language. Society. World. by Lim Cong Yi

I kept the receipt just in case someone needs it for personal income tax deduction (maximum RM1000).

Anyone interested to claim it? (^_^)

Nicest job up to the moment

2009-03-08T21:06:00.001+08:00

If you happen to read my last post about the terrible job, you may have some ideas about the toughness of being a sound system technician. Unreasonable treatment? Not this time.

(^-^) b

Any idea?

How about these?

Yesterday, I was placed on Pulau Dinawan for a typical cultural and entertainment night designed for the China tourists.

Since the event was on the island, instead of sleeping on the beach, me and Azlan (colleague) were allowed to overnight in this cottage.

Not bad huh? I did manage to watch 3 DVDs (Diary of the Dead, They Wait & Mirror)last night after the event. Nice bed, calm atmosphere, tasteful meals... That was my best job since months and I had my sounded sleep last night. I was wondering whether I was working or on my study retreat.

(^ ^) ♪

Besides, I learned another function of plankton.

Shame for the management for allowing the tourist to use mobile airgun. They were polluting the sea. (Well, exploiting the island for recreation purpose is to be blamed at the first place...) Sometimes, I feel guilty for being watching what those people polluting environments...

Is Loading Bay part of Hotel?

2009-03-01T22:09:00.001+08:00

Well, I am an idiot when it comes to hospitality industry. How do you rank a hotel? If it is ranked according to its overall management, does it include the hotel during its upgrading process?

Yesterday, I was working (as part time sound system technician) at Promenade Hotel, Kota Kinabalu. Due to its facility upgrading (ballroom I assume), many accesses were blocked and I must say that this includes…loading bay…

Guess what? Bad news for technicians like us, of course. Why? I think you know that because we have to move this five boxes of equipments

through this

and the thing that calmed me down, is my lucky number…

Our anger and frustration arose out of the ridiculous management of the hotel THAT the management levels did not prepare the secondary loading access for the supplier! We have gone through lots of suffering situation before where we had being moving more boxes through tougher ground surfaces but they were not due to stupid arrangement!

Promenade Hotel is not a high class hotel after all.

Health Campaign 2009

2009-02-09T22:23:00.001+08:00

Attend the Health Campaign 2009 organized by University Malaysia Sabah Medical Faculty at Hostel C, D multi purpose hall.

Small scale exhibition, BMI check, eye acuity check, blood pressure and glucose test, test interpretation, health talks, First Aid demonstration, Breast Self Examination and all those you can name it.

The only part that caught my eyes was those free medical tests. BMI check, blood pressure and blood glucose level check. Perhaps that was my primary purpose being there. ^^

I went through those test, as they were free of charge but not outside of campus, attended a talk about stress and stress management by Ng Chee Kuat. Nothing much to expect except earning myself a photo frame from the Q & A section, hehe…

As for my health check, here are the data:

Blood pressure: 110/80 mmHg

Blood glucose level: 5.2 mmol/l

BMI: 22.6

The comment that left by my medical friend was, “Everything is fine, MAINTAIN YOUR WEIGHT.”

What will you say?

A letter to 15 years old me…

2009-02-08T20:02:00.002+08:00

Did you write a letter to yourself?

What did you write in the letter?

How do you feel when you read it in the future/now?

It has been a long time since the last time I was touched by a song…

I cried when I first listened to this track…

手紙拝啓 ~十五の君へ~

(Tegami haikei jyuugo no kimi e, A letter to 15 years old you)

Was it because the lyrics were describing what I was facing during then?

But, I am still affected by this song…

Is it because what we have to face?

拝啓この手紙読んでいるあなたはどこで何をしているのだろう

十五の僕には誰にも話せない悩みの種があるのです

未来の自分に宛てて書く手紙なら

きっと素直に打ち明けられるだろう
今負けそうで泣きそうで消えてしまいそうな僕は
誰の言葉を信じ歩けばいいの？
ひとつしかないこの胸が何度もばらばらに割れて
苦しい中で今を生きている
今を生きている

拝啓ありがとう十五のあなたに伝えたい事があるのです

自分とは何でどこへ向かうべきか問い続ければ見えてくる
荒れた青春の海は厳しいけれど
明日の岸辺へと夢の舟よ進め
今負けないで泣かないで消えてしまいそうな時は
自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの
大人の僕も傷ついて眠れない夜はあるけど
苦くて甘い今を生きている

人生の全てに意味があるから恐れずにあなたの夢を育てて
Keep on beliving

負けそうで泣きそうで消えてしまいそうな僕は
誰の言葉を信じ歩けばいいの？

ああ負けないで泣かないで消えてしまいそうな時は
自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの
いつの時代も悲しみを避けては通れないけれど
笑顔を見せて今を生きていこう
今を生きていこう

拝啓この手紙読んでいるあなたが
幸せな事を願います

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
Where are you and what are you doing now?

For me who's 15 years old
There are seeds of worries I can't tell anyone

If it's a letter addressed to my future self,
Surely I can confide truly to myself

Now, it seems that I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?
This one-and-only heart has been broken so many times
In the midst of this pain, I live the present

Dear you,
Thank you
I have something to tell the 15-year-old you

If you continue asking what and where you should be going
You'll be able to see the answer

The rough seas of youth may be tough
But row your boat of dreams on
Towards the shores of tomorrow

Now, please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice
For me as an adult, there are sleepless nights when I'm hurt
But I'm living the bittersweet present

There's meaning to everything in life
So build your dreams without fear
Keep on believing

Seems like I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?

Please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice

No matter era we're in
There's no running away from sorrow
So show your smile, and go on living the present
Go on living the present

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
I wish you happiness...

Always the best,

By Angela Aki…

Usagi-cyan

2009-02-06T23:20:00.001+08:00

Behold, the rabbits! ( ゜щ゜)

Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ?! (>~<)

These are the rabbits (is it better to name them bunny?) rare by Mr Abraham Wong since weeks ago. I heard him mentioned that originally, there were only 4 bunnies, but now…

(^щ^)

These newborns are placed in another box so that their sisters and brothers are not stepping over these fragile babies…How cute! *^^* Do you notice the centre one that hasn’t grown its fur (In fact, it hasn’t opened its eyes!)? If I am not mistaken, it should be the youngest among them.

By the time I took these pictures, they were about to sleep, as you can guess from their body postures, except the brown one. It maybe the eldest, or the Papa of the nest who protects everyone and make sure they are safe and sleep before it does. Ah, paternal love!

Ok, I know, my E65 camera is blurred but you still want some pictures of the family. Here you go, the last one before I stop.

Can you total the number of them? ^^

P/S: Usagi is rabbit while kawaii is cute in Japanese.

World Cancer Day

2009-02-04T08:49:00.001+08:00

How much do you know about cancer?

What do you feel towards cancer patients?

Are your closed one struck by cancer?

How much do you support them?

Cancer, as we all know, is one of the leading death causes that contributes to childhood mortality rate and worsen the population aging in certain region. Cancer, or the group of diseases identified by uncontrolled growth and spread of abnormal cell, is initiated by both external and internal factors, such as tobacco consumption, radiation, inherited genetic code, mutation and so on. Although it may ultimately bring death, early diagnosis and prognosis can trigger possible interventions. Yet, the suggested approach to cancer, is primary prevention.

Here are some quick fact about cancer, according to Global Cancer Facts and Figures 2007 by American Cancer Society:

1/8 of global death cases are caused by cancer
The second leading cause of death for developed countries; the third leading cause of death for developing countries
27 million new cases and 17.5 million death is estimated by 2050
The leading cancer for male and female is lung/bronchus cancer and breast cancer respectively
The leading cancer in South-Eastern Asia is lung cancer which comprises 13.3% of total cases
Lymphoid leukemia is the most dreadful cancer among the children

Family and spouse care is the vital psychosocial support for the patient who is fighting the disease with existing perseverance. As Dr. Lea Baider quoted, “Illness means to share and negotiate, the family’s collective perceptions could shape the meaning of the illness for each family members.” Effective communication with tolerance and cares is important as a part of therapy, and surprisingly, patients with less distress are reported to have partners who responded to self-disclosures with positive humour.

The theme of World Cancer Campaign 2009, is “I love my healthy active childhood” which monitors and focuses on overweight and obesity among adults and children. Being overweight and obese will increase the risk of cancer.

According to the World Health Organization, 1 billion adults are overweight, and at least 300 million of these are clinically obese.

The International Obesity Taskforce estimates that one out of every ten school-age children is overweight. Of these, around 30-45 million children, that is 2-3% of children aged 5-17, are obese.

World Cancer Day 2009 marks the start of a year-long campaign, where International Union Against Cancer (UICC) will work with parents, teachers and decision-makers around the world to encourage kids to eat a healthy diet, be physically active and maintain a healthy body weight.

If you are interested to find out more, please log on to the following sites:

World Cancer Campaign

While for those who is wondering about Psycho-Oncology, you may check this out:

International Psycho-Oncology Society

Another two added to my collection! ^^

2009-01-30T13:54:00.005+08:00

Oh, no! Looks like I am no different with the girls who are bargaining for their new clothes whenever there is 70% rebate! >~< Well, here they are,

I was loitering around Popular Palm Square, browsing for new books. While I was turning the pages of some non-fiction, my eyes spotted the corner where the discount books (It is easy to tell as Popular does have its own way to display them, a typical one) were placed.

Initially, I wasn’t hoping to get any interesting books as for my acknowledgement, the books are usually pop-culture stuff but not this two.

Commentaries on Living: Series I by Jiddu Krishnamutri; &

The True Believer: Thoughts on the nature of Mass Movement by Eric Hoffer.

\(^∇^)/

Both of them are translated version (Mandarin) as English version may cost a lot for me…sigh…Again, I committed another unplanned expenditure……sigh……I have to control myself.

*wack*

The next book on my wish-list, The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil by Philip Zimbardo. I wonder who will wrap this as my 22nd birthday gift……(^.^)♪

Happy Chinese New Year?

2009-01-27T21:46:00.003+08:00

Well, well, how is your Chinese New Year celebration going? Fun? Good? Gluttony? Satisfied Ang Pow?

Don’t expect something from me, as I am not going home for this festival, again…(since 3 years back…) Why? Expensive air ticket, worthless expenditure, boring….Ops, did I mention something wrong?!

However, that does not mean that I have nothing beginning from the preparation of Chinese New Year until now, the second night of Lunar New Year. OK, I didn’t bargain on any new clothes, accessory, shoes nor hairstyle. Instead I had bought this, Gillettle March 3 Turbo (old model tri-blades shaver/razor and it is RED, for CNY?).

Had a steamboat reunion dinner with Daniel’s family (thanks Daniel, Mr. & Mrs. Koh), steamboat dinner with Chung Ling gang,

(fictional picture)

…and received the first and second Ang Pow from Adam and Mrs. Koh (thanks to both of them).

(fictional picture)

Finally, invitations to attend tomorrow gathering at Gurney Plaza, Penang, from chili and Sean. Apparently I will not be present for that as I am still in Sabah, but I will like to thank them for their kindness.

Other than that, I wasted almost all my time at home doing homework and watching television programmes. >~<

P/S: Thanks to Adam, Uncle Ken Fong, Daniel and his family, Chung Ling guys and girls, chili and Sean. My Lunar New Year would be colourless without you and your sincerity. Love you all! (^3^) ♪♪

World Leprosy Day

2009-01-25T16:16:00.001+08:00

Today is Chinese New Year Eve as we all Chinese knows, but do you know that today is marked as World Leprosy Day as well?

Well, I do not mean to spoil your mood in celebrating this festive seasons. However, while you enjoying your delicious reunion dinner, please think of those who are suffering all around the world.

Here are some brief descriptions about leprosy from one of the source:

“The first Historic mention of Leprosy in India dates back to as early as 600 B.C., where it is denoted by a Sanskrit term ‘Kushtha’, literally meaning ‘eating away’. Reports of presence of leprosy can also be found in the ancient writings from Japan (10th century B.C) and Egypt (16th century B.C.). Ancient writers have put across several theories regarding the origin and spread of leprosy such as infection of the Nile River, unhygienic food habits of the people and so on.
People suffering from Leprosy had to face criticism and were subjected to stringent treatments even in the olden times. They were required to wear special attire and further had to carry a wooden clapper to warn other people that they were on the move. They were also prohibited from visiting public places such as mills, bake houses or churches and had to keep themselves way from touching other healthy people or eating with them. They were not allowed to walk in narrow footpaths or wash in the common water sources such as wells, streams and so on.
From what was known in the early times, we have come a long way understanding the disease. Leprosy is a chronic infectious disease caused by a bacterium called Mycobacterium leprae that mainly invades the skin, mucous membranes and skin. Most people wrongly believe that leprosy is a skin disease. The truth, however, is that it is an air-borne disease, probably transmitted by minute respiratory droplets. G.A. Hansen first identified the bacteria in the year 1873, making it the first germ to be identified as a causative microorganism for any disease. It is also called as Hansen’s disease.

The development of Dapsone in 1941 marked a milestone in the treatment of leprosy. Clofazimine and Rifampicin represent other most commonly used drugs. Widespread use of the drug during the 1970’s resulted in the development of resistance, making it ineffective when prescribed alone. By 1985, leprosy was viewed as a major public health issue in nearly 122 countries. The introduction of a combination of Rifampicin, Clofazimine and Dapsone (MDT) in the form of ‘blister pack’ revolutionized leprosy treatment for a second time.

The provision of free MDT to several counties across the World, by the World Health Organization, restricted the further spread and incidence of the disease. The pharmaceutical company ‘Novartis’ deserves special mention with respect to the elimination of leprosy for its active participation. Sustained and consistent leprosy eradication programmes ensured the prevalence of leprosy to as low as 1 in 10,000 by the end of 2000.

The effective implementation of MDT therapy in areas previously uncovered, early recognition of nerve damage and management of relapse following short-term MDT represent some of the challenges that have to be overcome to ensure complete eradication of leprosy.”

- Medindia.com

If you’re interested to help them, you may refer to the following sites:

The Leprosy Mission

American Leprosy Mission

Sharing of Proximidade Award

2009-01-23T19:54:00.005+08:00

This is a "Thank You" for curryegg who awarded me Proximidade Award yesterday. Well, this serves as one of my motivation for blogging and this is my first time writing such post, don't expect too much from me...(^.^")\

According to the content of the award, I am require to post this,

This blog invests and believes the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

I will like to share the joy with the following bloggers:

Here goes the awards. Thanks curryegg again for motivating me to blog, again! \(^w^)/

Tagged by Cynthia

2009-01-23T18:26:00.005+08:00

3 months ago, I was tagged by my friend, Cynthia. That was my first experience of been tagged by blogger, however I was able to reply her well as I am writing this after 3 months her post was uploaded.....m(_ _)m Sorry, Cynthia, I am sure you are mad about this....

Well, should I start? (^.^)

Part One

1. What is the relationship of you and her?
Part of 'Yeye Family' that I don't even know when does it established, university pal and the one who helps me cover my books (Thanks Cynthia, I know you loves it! ^^)

2. Your five impressions towards her.
Daring, Persuasive, Brave, Fashionable and Innocent (-_-?)

3. The most memorable thing she had done for you.
Cover my first books...(-_-"")

4. The most memorable thing she had said to you.
I am innocent!......

5. If she become your lover, you will...
Have to work very hard to please her...

6. If she become your enemy, you will...
Brush up my persuasive talking skills! (｀_´)| 頑張って

7. If she become your lover, she has to improve on...
Managing her expenditure....

8. If she become your enemy, the reason is...
Who knows? My problem? Probably?

9. The most desirable thing to do on her is?
Pinch her....(Tickle tickle.....^^)

10. The overall impression of her is?
Persuasive and potential woman.

11. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Nagging, old-fashioned, old-minded, short, antisocial....

12. The character of you for yourself is?
Shorty?

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Lazy, antisocial, boastful, nagging, act-smart....

14. The most ideal person that you wanna be is?
A normal person.......(What!?)

Part Two

1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state the rules clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back!

I am short (163 cm)....
Not good looking....
Poor...
Love Japanese movies, dramas, Pops, culture etc.
My favorite color is black and blue. (Back Street Boys previous album? ^^)
Love reading, especially Psychology and Philosophy genre
A loner
Victim of sexual assault (when I was 7...)
Thought of and attempted suicide (when I was 11...)
Victim of Along (since I was 13...)
Potential Borderline Personality Disorder patient (fulfill 62.5% criteria according to DSM IV-TR)
Hoping to solve family financial problem
Wish to have a DSLR
Travel around the world!
Avoiding to engage in romantic relationship (I will end up hurting a woman, please....)

End of description. Here goes my lucky 7....へ(^へ^)

(Those are whom I can tag right now...)

Is this how tagging is done? (-_-?)\

Abandoned blog?

2009-01-06T09:19:00.002+08:00

My last blog entry was about 2 months ago…Gosh, it seems that my laziness is dominating me since my semester break began…
But not anymore, the holidays are off, I have to get back to my job and start to write again. A psychologist should maintain writing as a habit. (thanks Ben for reminding me…) Well, I really have to be serious with this.
With this, I will like to start off by the “small small gathering” organized by Krystle Yap, one of my primary school '”brother” at Mizi’s Bistro, New World Park, 21st of December 2008, around 1930 hours. It was one of my primary school reunion dinner.

The event was suppose to start at 1930 hours, but I knew that there must be a reason why Krystle post that particular time on Facebook. Before I departed from home, I received the call from her and Natalie about the bad road condition which might cause them to late…(Sorry girls, I don’t mean to criticize…) That’s why the invitation cards in Penang always contain the words “7.30 p.m.” ?
Anyway, they had tried their best to reach there half an hour late and I think it was reasonable as the number of vehicles in Penang is sky-rocketing. (The moment I left Penang, the number plate has rolled to PJA XXXX…)
Well, since it was a voluntary gathering, the member who attended the dinner was relied on the eagerness of the group members. Despite the number was only 8 (originally, it was 10 + 1 super VIP, Koay Su Ling. I was hoping she would attend, but I heard she had to attend family function…), we did have an enjoyable night by keeping ourselves update with ours current condition about our life, works, studies, etc. Here are the attending people:

(From left: Wei Ken, Aik You, Samuel Shee, Myself and Jun Hean)

(From left: Natalie Ooi, Krystle Yap and Sheow Hui)

Since Christmas Day was around the corner by the time the dinner was held, I suggested gift exchange, and this were what we had,

As you may expect, chocolate bars, cups, accessories bag… I was glad that everyone was able to follow my suggestion and no one was exempted. Next, we had lots of group photos shot as this is one of the crutial part of a reunion gathering.

Before we left, I managed to get a free hug from Krsytle! (*^^*) When was the last time I hugged? (^^)

See you, guys. Hope that we can have more gathering in future! (^o^)/

Another strike of incubus

2008-11-13T08:20:00.001+08:00

My younger sister was murdered by the gangsters when she was on his way home from school…

Dominated by the dismay and failure to protect my dear sister, I killed myself, leaving alone our mourning parents…

(“The Mourning Parents”, sculpture by German sculptress, Käthe Kollwitz, located at Vladslo German Cemetery)

Argh…why am I having nightmares recently? This time, I was so shocked by the dream that I woke up from sleep! The image was vivid compare to the previous episode which mentioned about driving in the dark…

Am I influenced by the examination? I am not stress.

What about your recent living condition? As good as vacation!

Longing for someone? I am going home and sure I miss my friends and family!

Wait a minute, what are those going to do with your nightmare?

Well, who cares? As long as I am still able to write it down here, I assume I may interpret recent dreams, someday in the future……

A Weird Dream

2008-11-11T10:00:00.002+08:00

I had a dream during 0400 hours today.

Before the dream slipped off my mind, I decided to write it here, in the hope that I can interpret it when I can.

…

I went to one of my female friends house in the favour of borrowing a car from her. I can’t remember who she was, but I did recall that she replied my request by handing me a car key of an old model Toyota Crown, which is something like this:

It was in bad condition though. (in my dream)

Without wasting any time, I was heading to my destination with the still-functioning Crown. I wanted to visit a site in somewhere which I don’t remembered. She asked to come along and I say OK. She drove a brand new black Perodua Myvi which was similar with this:

By the time we departed, it was twilight. We took an hour to reach the site but the journey was proofed to be vain as the thing that I was looking for was no longer there. (can’t remember what was it)

Before the day came to the total darkness, we left with despair. The return trip was dark and the road was so narrow that it allowed only one car to travel along the lane. I tried to switch on the headlight but the nearly spoilt car disappointed me and so I called her who was driving behind me to switch on hers, so that I had a better visibility of the road. Unfortunately, she reported that her car was having the same problem, too. We ended up driving in the dark without the light.

After several minutes, we encountered a split road which was not existed by the time we were heading to the site. As I was driving in the front, I decided to head left which ended up as a dead end. I turned back and made a call just to signal her not to follow my path. Before she picked up the call, I saw a black car driving in opposite direction, with the headlight on, and the car was going to the right path as if the driver already knew that the path I chose was a dead end. It was exactly the car she drove because I can see the number plate clearly. But what about the headlight? Wasn't it spoiled? When I was on the her track, she accelerated her car and left in nowhere, leaving me behind, who was trying hard to find the way home in the dark…

(without the light…though…)

Dream analysis, is one of the therapeutic skills in psychoanalysis. Sometimes I doubt, does the manifest content of the dream like I have dreamt can possibly bring out the latent content of my dream. If it can, I guess I have to figure out several items within the dream:

Who is that woman?
Why did she want to follow along the trip?
Where is the site?
What am I searching for at the site?
Why did she cheat me on the headlight?
Why did she left me alone in the dark?

It isn’t the first time I dream about being cheated by woman. I remember the previous episode was, been conned to kill someone I know.

Can you read my dream? :)

Deepavali Vanakum

2008-10-27T21:29:00.006+08:00

Happy Diwali to all of my Indian friends! (^o^)/
Today is a big day for them as the "Festival of Light” is celebrated for the victory of good over evil within every human kind, according to Indian legend.
First of all, I’ll like to thank Adam for bringing me all around the Sabah for today trip, along with one of his student in his language center who comes from Yokohama, Japan and studying International Sociology in Yokohama City University. She has being coming here for 3 months for her study trip to Malaysia to experience the festival atmosphere lively. (consequently she have to summit a paper for that) Finally, I have one Japanese friend! ^^
We started our day by visiting a local well-known Hinduism temple. (forget the name! >~<) We were welcomed to follow their praying ritual and one of Aiko Tomita’s objectives was achieved. The whole ritual took around an hour and I was surprised to know that Indian student of University Malaysia Sabah had applied for three buses to bring them here for the ritual! Off course I met some of my friends and they were surprised to see me here, too. ^^
After that, we went for the breakfast prepared by the temple officials. I missed Indian foods! >~< It has been a long time since I last ate Indian food, excluding the Roti Canai that we can get everyday. Besides that, it was my another dining experience with hands. That’s part of their traditions.
Having a walk around the temple is ideal after a meal as it is good for digestion and chances of schmoozing. I met a female Taiwan tourist and a retired French scientist who is residing in Sabah for several years. His name was John Paul (not sure whether I spelled it correctly) and studied a lot about Malaysia culture even though it was not his main expertise. He knew more about Deepavali than anyone of us and Aiko was lucky to meet him as we spent a great deal of time listening to his explanation about Malaysia festivals.
Next we moved on to Tanjung Aru for Kota Kinabalu Baptist Church Family Day. Nothing much to say about it as neither of us were enjoying in the activities. I was spending sometimes with the church fellows for some games while Aiko was indulging herself with the sea. Pastor Adam, which is more commonly referred by the church follower, was talking with some senior followers who were not participated in the games on the beach. Ah, missed another chance to talk with Radiance! *sad*
We headed to Likas Sport Complex for the Deepavali Open House by the Barisan National for free lunch. As expected for such event, there were a lot of people coming for the same purpose and Aiko was so full with Roti Canai. (she simply loved it!) Again, we met Mr. John and this time, Adam was starting another lengthy about current world situation with him. Me and Aiko was regretted for didn’t take any contact information from the knowledgeable old man. Suddenly, I felt so pathetic about myself in language skills. I speak fundamental Japanese, incoherent English, poor Malay, and superficial Mandarin, but Adam can speak fluent English, Singkh, French and little bit of Spanish while Aiko knows about French, Spanish, Mandarin, and Malay! Sigh…
As suggested by Aiko, we went to Kiansom Waterfall for a nature bath.

(Top of Kiansom Waterfall. Taken by Nokia E65 and shaky hand)

This was the most enjoyable part of our trip. The feeling of being flushed by the water was so relaxing after half day travelling around several places. Um…Ah…I was so indulged that I get this…

…minor injury by knocking some rocks. Auch! I was told off by someone about safety rules but it seemed that Andrew Koay is always against or forget about them when it comes to nature exploration.
Before we were returning to our home, we had simple tea break at Inanam. Aiko was so delight to share about her favourite Malaysia items while she was buying some batik sarung at nearby store. Since this was our last stop, we decided to call it a day with a tiring and fun experience.

World Mental Health Day

2008-10-10T20:23:00.003+08:00

Does anyone today is the World Mental Health Day? What is World Mental Health Day?
"World Mental Health Day (October 10), is a day for global mental health education, awareness and advocacy. It was first celebrated in 1992 at the initiative of the World Federation for Mental Health, a global mental health organization with members and contacts in more than 150 countries." -Wikipedia
This year, the World Federation for Mental Health strive to "focus on where we came from and what needs to be done yet for the future. We will highlight different levels of advocacy and its role in creating change and the need for scaling up services so all people have access to information, personalized treatment, and resources to assist them in all aspects of their recovery," (World Federation for Mental Health, 2008) by the theme "MAKING MENTAL HEALTH A GLOBAL PRIORITY: SCALING UP SERVICES THROUGH CITIZEN ADVOCACY AND ACTION."

From my own observation and reading, the public awareness in Malaysia is still low within the region. Public perception about mental health remains very superficial. In fact, for some of the older generation, mental health topics are taboo (as they attribute mental disorder as spiritual dismay). Therefore, there is a need to advocate and support this issues among the citizen for the sake of overall healthy development of any single human being.
You may think that this is irrelevant to our current situation, the global economic recession, but do you feel distress upon your helplessness in changing this condition? Do you know that few days ago, there is one gloomy incident in Los Angeles, United States of America where one man had killed himself after shooting all of his family members due to his family financial crisis.

Los Angeles County Coroners remove one of the six bodies found at a home in a gated community in the San Fernando Valley neighborhood of Porter Ranch area of Los Angeles on Monday, Oct. 6, 2008. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

This photo released Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2008, by the California Department of Motor Vehicles shows Karthik Rajaram. The 45-year-old unemployed financial manager, despondent over extreme money problems, was found dead Monday with a gun in his hand said authorities. He had shot and killed his wife, three children, mother-in-law and then himself at home in a gated community in the San Fernando Valley neighborhood of Porter Ranch in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/California Department of Motor Vehicles)

It is a shame for me, as one of the psychology student, doing nothing to contribute in this international campaign. Nevertheless, I tried to mention this in my blog, in the hope that my dear readers can help me in advocating the importance of mental health among your loved ones. ;)
(P/S: For those who are interested in World Mental Health Day 2008 campaign, you may have a look at the free material by the organization.)

Badminton match

2008-10-05T23:31:00.006+08:00

It has been a while since my last participation in any badminton competition. (in fact, I start to practice it since 2 weeks ago after half year break) As usual, for an intermediate players like me, I lost but I was satisfied as I did learn some from the match.

Well, I attended the badminton competition organized by Sabah Baptist Church this afternoon. The venue was not very ideal as the visibility inside the hall is poor due to the old lightning systems and the wall which consisted of endless holes...

Anyway, I did have a good match with several good players. (even though some of them were aunties! lol) There was one 14 years old national player playing and all of his family members were participated. Guess what, they are tough! I paired with his elder sister but our opponent was his mother and good friend. You may think that they were about the same level but my score for that match was 17-21...Experience does matter! I will like to thank my partner for her full attention on the match. (she did fall badly during the match just to save the shuttlecock >~<)

Despite my countless losing in all the participated competition, the experience acquired during the match is different from the normal practice. Owwu, how I wish I can improve my skills through the practice with those skill players whom I met today!

P/S: Aunt Dorris, you're lucky and proud of your family for having so many skilled children! ^^

Is your food clean?

2008-10-04T21:42:00.007+08:00

Recently there are a lots of news and controversy regarding melamine contaminated dairy products from China. Personally, I am not familiar with chemistry, but roughly from what I have read regarding this harmful chemical, the main consequences of over-intake is the production of kidney stone. I will like to warn my dear readers about this. Please be careful when you buy any imported food and read the food label before you purchase (it is another good consumer habit which is always being ignored) because the affected food is not only including milk products but currently, it also involves vegetables! Look at the news from Bernama:

KOTA KINABALU: The Health Ministry is now on high alert over melamine-tainted vegetables imported from China.

“We have learnt from South Korea that they have detected a high level of melamine in vegetables they import from China,” said Health Minister Datuk Liow Tiong Lai.

“We have launched a Level 4 check on all food products from China where we will take samples to ensure the products are safe for consumption before releasing them into the market,” he told reporters Saturday after attending the Sabah MCA convention here.

Liow assured that melamine-tainted food products in the country were at the permissible level of 2.5 parts per million (ppm), whilst baby products contained one ppm.

- The Star Online, October 4th, 2008

Waw, no more safety for vegetarian? Well, a good warning for any vegetarian, including me. Frankly speaking, will this serves as one of the obstacles for World Vegetarian Awareness Month campaign by North American Vegetarian Society?

Anyway, it is time that China shall reexamine their product quality level, especially the food that we consume everyday and affects our health both in short term and long term.

Good bye, PAP UMS 2008...

2008-09-27T22:47:00.007+08:00

I guess after the appreciation dinner, the Pesta Ang Pow (or Chinese New Year Night) University Malaysia Sabah 2008 has came to its end. The hard work and the joy that we have gone through has remained as part of our memory in UMS...
The Appreciation Dinner of PAP UMS 2008 was held yesterday at Le Meridien hotel (I heard it is a five star hotel) after gone through many obstacles. Every attended committee members makes up heavily than I don't remember meeting them, waw! For example, look at the picture below:

(Me, Grace and Doreen were standing while Yi Juan, Jenice, Yi Ming and Ai Xuan were sitting. They are my coursemates!)
Well, I know somebody will say this is just the normal dinner attire and make ups, why am I feeling so strange about it....I have a bad taste in fashion as you can see. If not, why am I wearing black T-shirt and black pants like one of the waiters in the hotel?
Anyway, for your information, I HATE FORMAL WEAR! That's why I never wear them during balls. Social deviant, am I?
The 8 set serving course dinner started around 2000 hours. I felt so lucky than anyone for eating 16 courses because I didn't see anybody other than me running around the tables and eating between tables...Gosh, how inconsiderable I was! I was sitting with Yi Juan and others at vegetarian table (there was two tables specially allocated for them, one of them was displayed in the picture above) before the dinner started. After the first course was served, I began to have some words with other members and eventually I ended up sitting and feasting with them...(>~<) At least I did not waste the foods...
Coming up next, the lucky draw that everybody is waiting for. 6 hampers, one 8GB USB Flash drive, one Canon iP1880 printer and one 160 GB external SATA hard-disk. As expected, I got nothing and neither my friends. Wish for better luck next time.
The dinner ended before 2200 hours (so fast...). Despite the school bus had stand by to bring them who stay in hostels back, no one seemed to stop taking shots from the beginning of the dinner...It was another chance for us to put on those beautiful attires and hair styles (except me who remain unchanged all the while...) so who will save their memory storage? Anyway, everybody was able to back to their respective hostel or home safely after they had satisfied and running out of memory and battery, hehe. Here are some pictures that include me!

Me, Grace, Dr Amrad Ahmed (a great Assistant Vice Chancellor who can cook well, speak Japanese and remains single!) and Doreen.

Grace, me and Doreen, one of a long term teams in counselling psychology course of UMS!

P/S: thanks Grace & May for the photos! ^^

An expensive lunch

2008-09-20T17:08:00.004+08:00

Guess how much does this dish cost?
RM4? RM4.50? RM5?
These are the acceptable price range to us, the West Penisularian, well, I guess some Sabahans too. But this meal was not included in that range, instead it cost me RM7.50!!! (O.o"")
I took my lunch in KK Plaza before I did my shopping with Kar Fei (purchased our "surviving stocks"). First of all, I rejected other choices in food court as those dishes cost around RM5 and they were worth that for me (even though that may be acceptable for local). Nevertheless I preferred economic rice. Well, the meal ended up as "non-economic". I was astounded when I saw the cash register machine displayed "RM7.50"! No choice, I had to pay for it as there was no way to reject this dish.
Rice + fried long beans + fried egg with long beans + fish balls + fish cakes = RM7.50? That's expensive! Until now I still have not had any clue that this dish cost so much.
No wonder, some say that the economy in Sabah is hard to change as the economic gap is enormous. Look at the food price or any product price index, it seems that the poor is struggling to survive while the rich will maintain as wealthy.

The most satisfied Mid-Autumn Festival ever!

2008-09-14T23:43:00.006+08:00

Never being so contented whenever I mention about Mid-autumn festival... But for this year, I felt so great about the celebration of this traditional festival... Well, at least I have eaten almost 10+ mooncakes in 3 days... Frankly speaking, I have never eaten so many before due to my background...

I started off from the invitation from Adam to attend the church celebration on last Saturday. Instead of eating bunch of mooncakes, I ended up eating more spaghetti than mooncakes as our late arrival. (Well, I don't blame him) Anyway, I had a goodtimes with them for the whole night, thanks Adam!

On the next day, invitation from an auntie known in Sabah (whose restaurant is full of delicious vegetarian meals ^^) to be presented. This time, it is the celebration of Tsu Chi. First time attending their activity made me felt anxious about the organisation. Met some Chung Ling juniors and we had a great night together! (of course not without those mooncakes) The moment where we solved the riddles, ate various kinds of mooncakes, (ranging from pudding, ice-layered, chocolate, dragon fruit, traditional lotus paste with single york, etc...sorry guys, I don't have camera...), fooling around with the lanterns and winning ourselves a CD from Tsu Chi, remain as a memorable piece in my mind. Thanks auntie, Wooi Keat, Pei Shi and Steven!

The last celebration went to Chung Ling Alumni celebration dinner for the festival and the carnival. Nothing particular except the long conversation with the 5th year Medicine senior (She is pretty!) and received a piece of mooncake and a box of pandan cake for lucky draw.

The quantity of consumed mooncakes isn't the sole reason that made me happy, but the chance to recognize new friends also allowed me to indulge in those celebration. Met a 4th year education female Penangite and the mysterious 5th year female future paediatrics specialist, so lucky! Again, I will like to thank Adam, Aunt Wu, Steven, Wooi Keat, Pei Shi and other Chung Ling guys for sharing the joy together!

开张咯！

2008-08-23T12:20:00.001+08:00

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